I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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