is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
