; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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