Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
