How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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