Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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