She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
