she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
