A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
