remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Boobs are out for the taking
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
