If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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