Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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