Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
