Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
