The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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