Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
