Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My dick has a subreddit
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
