I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize