I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
