I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize