Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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