I heard we made out
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
