So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
