No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
