First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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