Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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