wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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