she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize