we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
