nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
