Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
