Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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