I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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