i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
