Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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