I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
