forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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