My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
