We're like a lot better than the average bears
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
