He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
