Sry I called you an 8
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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