Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
