Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
