How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
