He asked to "fluff my boner.."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
