did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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