you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
