How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
