i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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