Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
