We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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