he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My legs feel like baby dolphins
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
