Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
