He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm at about main and main street
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
