I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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