Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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