WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
