Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize