He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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